Stuff them, stuff yourself
It's only been 10 days since we were warned against eating our hot cross buns "dripping in butter" by public health nutritionist and online hazard Bronwen King.
Now we're being advised that schoolchildren should eat pies, chips, sausage rolls and chocolate bars only once a term. The Ministry of Health's deputy director general Don Matheson says, "This is not about labelling or a vehicle to inspect children's lunchboxes" - yet.
So what better time than now to share with you this wonderful parable from the master himself?
Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching
on one candy bar after another. After the 6th candy bar, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Tony replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Tony answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business."